I really don't like Brett Ratner. I don't like the movies he makes, he ruins them. I don't like the franchises he creates, he ruins them. I really don't like the way he is so god damn smug about the fact that he makes some truly awful movies whose only purpose is to make a boat load of money from misguided and misinformed movie goers. /Film is reporting that Brett Ratner is in talks to direct a 100 million dollar reboot of the Conan fantasy action film franchise. This report along with this nugget of joy pretty much solidifies my extreme dislike for this man.
How does he always manage to slither his ass into amazing film adaptations and positions of geek power? Seriously...it started for me when he ruined all of the previous hard work of Bryan Singer and the X-Men films. The Last Stand was terrible, there was too many characters and it's like he deliberately wanted to piss fans off by axing two characters that didn't need to die! There was no reasoning behind it aside from the fact that Jean Grey was really really pissed off. That's it, dunzo, axed, murdered, killed. Fuck. I'm not even going to go into how bad Rush Hour 3(not to mention the whole series) is. Then the rumor that he is in the lead for the director's chair on a God of War game to film adaptation. This shit has gone too far. You will not get away with ruining one of my favorite game franchises of the past few years. If David Jaffe had any sense he would punt your ass out on the curb and go grab someone that actually has vision and understanding of source material.
You know what I dislike the most about Brett Ratner? The fact that I can not hate him as a director. I can't only because I actually have enjoyed one of his movies, not only that but I own it. Red Dragon was pretty awesome, you really can't even tell that a weiner like Brett Ratner directed it. It's not as good as Manhunter, but it did it's job of being equally creepy and thrilling. Shit, I didn't even know he directed an actual good film until I was randomly surfing imdb a year ago. On top of all of this if he in fact does make God of War and Conan adaptations, I am going to have to see them. That makes me mad that I feel like I have to be forced to watch a movie because of the source material. The same thing happened with Star War Episode II, that movie sucked but I had to watch it in order to watch the third one. Please someone pull him out of these rumors.
Now you are saying to yourself. Well shit Tyler, who would you get to do these adaptations? Funny you should ask, because I have an answer for you. I would love to see a Conan reboot made by Ridley Scott. Think about it, Gladiator but with monsters and creatures and fantasy settings. Tell me that would not be awesome as hell to see. God of War is tough decision really, my first thought would be David Fincher honestly. The guy hasn't really gotten to an epic action film yet(Alien 3 was meh not to mention the opposite of epic) and I think his obscene planning skills along with his absurd attention to detail would make a fantastic action film with the an interesting and epic mythological back drop as presented in the game.
